The Journey Of My Life

Yeah, I think all of us must have hopes, dreams…or whatever it called…(only dead people don’t :D)
We always set our hopes as high as possible, altough we know that we can’t always achieve it all…be optimistic, isn’t it?

The main problem is, what will we do when we can’t get our hope?

crying?
mourning?
hopeless?
wanna die? NOOO!!! :o, don’t even think about that…!!

heheh…for me, when it’s happened…it’s like a giant walls was surrounded upon me…i can’t go forward, backward, up, down, or left, or right…simply…I can’t move…or in fact…I don’t want to move…:(

I’m blaming, feeling pity of myself (this is the right time to play blues, just kidding :p)…I feel useless, and I often complained God in my pray: "God, i have a very, very big problem right now…I need Your help! Please help me!" (notify the exclamation mark…yeah! i dictated God…how ironic)

But, what a lovely God I have…He don’t mind it, instead He gave me the answer…unfortunately, I can’t heard it.

He answered again…heard nothing…
He answered again…still can’t heard…
He answered again…oh my God! am I deaf? :O

No! It was because of my sin, so it’s like He was far, far away, whereas He’s always near from the very beginning.

End of the world? hmm, don’t forget that He’s very faithful…
He answered in another ways that I didn’t ever imagined before (of course…)

How? Mostly He answers by the peoples around me, such as my mother, my friends, etc…after i realized it…that God gave me answers, I can’t refrain to bow down, crying and pray: "Thank You, God. Why You’re so kind to me…?"

Oftenly, I remember this song:

Here I am, humbled by Your Majesty
Covered by Your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I’m a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your Hands
[Majesty, by: Delirious?]

And I didn’t say again: "God, I have a very big problem",
but I said: "Hey problem! I have a very big God!"

Again, thank You God, my pleasure to have Lord like You…

GBU.
D.R.

test..test..

hurray, it’s still alive…..my blog :p

hehehe, it’s been a long time…days? weeks? months?
i can excuse that i was too busy, no time, slow
connections…etceterah..blah.blah.blah..the facts is…i’m just too
lazy to write, and i’m not in a good mood…:D…even now…but i push
myself to write because i’m still in the memento

sorry for my English, especially my tenses, grammar, etc…i know it’s
somehow wrong here & wrong there, but i’m sure you can understand

first of all, thank you my Lord…i’m graduated (again)..well…it was
a very hard process i must faced, especially at the thesis phase, but
because of You i can pass it all…dang! if i remember how i must work
overtime from night till dawn, stop my work, losing my social
interactions, the time overdue so i have to pay for another semester…and…i’m
become fatter :D, i feel like i want to give up…but…thank
you…again…thank you Jesus, thank you for everyone that encouraged and supported me…it’s over…plus, i got bonus…i
graduated Cum Laude….yeah…a close-limit Cum Laude actually :p,
but…it’s still a bonus

i can’t describe how happy i am…make my parents proud…got my "life" back, i can concentrate to work again…etc.
well…the graduation may just be a formally ceremonial (another
ceremony that i’ve experienced before), hence i can share happiness with
my colleagues, it was an unvaluable joy..it’s mean everything…it’s
one-in-a-life-time memory that i couldn’t ever have again….and i
can’t stop to grateful…thank you Lord..thank you Jesus..thank you
Holy Spirit…it’s all because of You, and this is for You, for the
glorify of Your name…

now, the ceremony is over…the euphoria almost gone, but there’s another story that still remains…

i have this feeling again…the feeling which i haven’t experienced
since years ago…(am my feeling dead? :?)…the feeling of the joy
mixed up with palpitates, hankering, and haze…yes..the feeling of
crush…i’m in crush with someone…someone that i never think about
before…someone…that’s when she near me, it’s seems far away…now when
i’m realized that i’m in crush….ZAP! i went crazy…:O

oh God, please help me…keep my heart and mind pure…i don’t want to
fall with the wrong crush again…not without You…make me stay calm…
yes, i know that i desire someone, but let me know if it’s Your wish or
not…if it is, then You’ll make everything clear to me, make this
crush into love, but if it is not…let’s this feeling pass away with
the time…and it’s just another story in my live…let Your will be
done…

Well, girl, you may be read this (or not?)…i just want you to know,
that you woke up the "giant" in my heart…i read your
signal…honestly…i want to response it and i’m very happy if i can make it with you,
but…i just don’t want to go in a rush…let the time and the Holy
Spirit show us the way…
it may be seems too religious…wheter you believe it or not…it’s just…i don’t want to take the wrong decision again…

GBU.
D.R.